Are you kidding me??

The other day I was looking in the linen closet. I didn't find it, but I found some other interesting stuff. There was a large plastic bag filled with soap ends. Like when the bar of soap gets small. I found another plastic bag with the ends of toilet paper rolls. Like when the toilet paper gets really small. So I asked Dot what are you going to do with this stuff? She replied in a sweet southern voice, "well we are going to donate them to our favorite charity here in Mpls." Oh dear, no you can't!! Dot is all about saving what she has and making do with what she has. Usually an admirable trait! She meant well. She is really so adorable. And she can laugh at herself. And does so often! Which always helps in times like these. When Dot goes to say Target, she can't often find what she needs to buy. Usually she will tell me that they don't sell that product anymore. Of course they do, but she is saving face. And I let her. Because she is so adorable!

Must you?

So my beautiful, sweet mom has become extremely CONTROLLING!!! When I am driving her somewhere, she directs my every move! Between Dot and Bill, I don't know what to do! Bill was the absolute control freak of the family. Now I guess Dot thinks its her turn. She is fierce! She knows what she wants and she won't acept anything less. Which is good in a way. She has never stood up to Bill ever in her life. She is starting to mumble under her breath about Bill. For instance she will say to me after Bill has made some pronouncement, "Oh we'll just ignore him, and do what we want!" I love it! I just wish she would have done it YEARS ago. This year for the first time in a million years, she didn't go to Rally Sunday at Mountn Olivet. Her church for 55 years. She was too tired. Very unlike her. And when its time for communion, she can't do take it because she can't remember where she sat. Soo sad. She is so small. Under 5 feet. She seems like she is shrinking. But her voice is nice and loud! Yesterday she was sick and I stayed home with her. She is a pack rat. I began to get rid of all the little things she is saving. If I do it when she is around, she will go through the garbage to see if I threw anything she wanted to keep. Oh yes. She will save ugly material from the 70's, she thinks someone will make a quilt out of it. So I had my sister Cathy come over and take the black garbage bag to her house and throw it away! Later....

Missing Dot

I am starting to miss mom, the real mom. So many things are happening to her every day. Its really hard for Dot to give up some of her duties. And most times she won't even consider it. Some days she has an imaginary boundaries. If I ask her to go somewhere, she will almost always say its too far. If we must get something she needs, well maybe tomorrow she says. She is having lots of trouble following a story that someone is telling her. I remember when this started for Bill. Now I really don't have too much conversation with Bill, way too hard. Between his deafness and dementia, I just can't do it. Evil aren't I? But what should I do? My mom, Dot is the sweetest person in the world, everyone who meets her falls in love with her. She has southern charm and grace. She has never frowned or been disagreeable ever. If she ran into some anger or trouble, she just turns on that southern charm, and all is well again. Things a a bit different now. She is often frowning. She is often mad. She will argue about anything. And she mutters. Which can be really funny. The other day Bill was grousing about something or another, and Dot says just loud enough for me to hear her, "joy killer"!!! It was really funny!

The saddist truth ever...

Today has been a really long and trying day for me. Nothing out of the ordinary. I took Dot shopping, at the Galleria, then out to lunch at The Good Earth with our sweet neighbor Cheryl. Along the way, well it didn't go so well. Dot is having a hard time with money. She thinks she hasen't a dime, and so she only spends a little bit at a time. For example, if she has to buy 15 items, she will only buy 7 and says she will go the next day. I know it doesn't make sense. Of course it makes perfect sense to Dot. Bill is worse. He only buys off off brands of everything. And only things he likes. He loves the burgers at the gas station. Yum! He brings them home by the bagful! Of course they go to waste. Back to today, then as we were leaving, Dot got lost. I could not find that woman to save my soul. I was almost in tears. Here is the sad truth. I got so mad at her. I didn't like her at all. I didn't say anything, I was just really mad. If they would listen to me and take my advise, it would go soooo much better. But nooooo. Its lots of wasted time doing stupid things. I feel so ashamed for feeling like this. I love Dot with all of my heart. It just sucks!!!!

At least there is humor...

Some days are so funny. Dot will say something wrong or inappropriate and she will know how silly she is being and she will laugh at herself! She is not at her best when cooking. We had our family over for dinner and I told her I would make the chile for her. She said very sternly, no way.. I have a certain way of doing it and I will do it myself. She is getting controlling in her old age! And she mumbles to herself about Bill. She pretty much ignores him!!! That makes me so happy. Bill is the dominent, controlling, bully of the family. She will exhaust herself to do things her way. When I try to help, Dot will stand over me telling me how to do this or that! Or when I drive her somewhere, she will tellimg what lane to be in and what space to park in! And she gives me directions. I tell her I have lived here for 53 years and I know how to get here and there! Well,,,, what will this week bring?

Oh what a day!

Well there comes a time when all common sense is finally and forever gone. That time has come I think for Dot and Bill. It has been a tough couple of days for them and me. Several days ago Dot bought a dishwasher. It has to be a special portable dishwasher as the opening is smaller than the built ins. So here we go. They got the handyman to come over and remove the old one. There was one copper tube that was in the lower cupboard where the pots and pans go. The handyman did his thing and left. Bill had to mess around and there was hot water flowing full blast for 2 hours until I got home.. Every single towel and rag was put to use to no avail. I got there and asked did you call the handyman back? No of course not! So I called him and he was there in a matter of minutes. Fixed the problem and got my dad to admit his mistake. A rarity for sure. He even cleaned up all of the water that was everywhere and the insulation in the basement was wet and he removed that as well. He is a great handyman. Its not easy being old thats for sure. Dot is exhausted and is beside herself with all the mess around her. We got the new dishwasher installed today by the same handyman. Yipppeeeee! Then today my son-in-law painted the garage. Bill did not want to buy a new brush for him. The only one he had was hard as a rock. I told him he had to buy a new one and he had a temper tantrum and said I was trying to run the show and he wouldn't take that. I just told him then he would have to paint it himself. He changed his mind. We still have bees, yellow jackets in the basement. Bill will not pay for and exterminator. Oh well, I am the bee whisperer. Later

Why does everythig take soooo long?

Well I'm back The knee surgery went well. Sometimes with Dot and Bill, everything takes sooo long. Like we are in slow motion. Did it happen suddenly? Or was it real gradual and I just am noticing it now? I think the later. I was in the kitchen last night and I was making my dinner, a english muffin. I think I was in there about 30 minutes. Why? Well Dot was wanting me to eat some really old vegetables and then Bill comes in and asks what I am doing and then can't hear me so I talk really loud. I can't seem to get out of the kitchen. There is so much miscommunication between us. Sometimes I just can't repeat myself again. So then they have no idea what I said. And I don't even care. Is that so selfish of me? I think so. But sometimes I just can't help myself. Bill openly dislikes me. Sometimes I wonder if he is my real dad or what? Why is he such a bastard? Just to me usually. He has always been like this. I am an irritant to him. I am too loud, to much... He said to me the other day,