Why does everythig take soooo long?

Well I'm back The knee surgery went well. Sometimes with Dot and Bill, everything takes sooo long. Like we are in slow motion. Did it happen suddenly? Or was it real gradual and I just am noticing it now? I think the later. I was in the kitchen last night and I was making my dinner, a english muffin. I think I was in there about 30 minutes. Why? Well Dot was wanting me to eat some really old vegetables and then Bill comes in and asks what I am doing and then can't hear me so I talk really loud. I can't seem to get out of the kitchen. There is so much miscommunication between us. Sometimes I just can't repeat myself again. So then they have no idea what I said. And I don't even care. Is that so selfish of me? I think so. But sometimes I just can't help myself. Bill openly dislikes me. Sometimes I wonder if he is my real dad or what? Why is he such a bastard? Just to me usually. He has always been like this. I am an irritant to him. I am too loud, to much... He said to me the other day,

Dot

It is so very sad for me to see my mom fading. She is having a hard time getting around. She can't remember places that should be easy to go to. Restaurants, friends homes, how to cook. She won't go grocery shopping anymore. She lets my dad go to Cub and buy the brand that is below the Cub brand. And no one wants to eat that stuff. Dot is so smart and vital. She has done something she has never done before, and that is she is becoming very involved in politics. She writes the President, her congressmen and senators. She also watches Glen Beck everyday and she has volumes of shorthand in notebooks. How odd. She remembers shorthand. She was a legal secretary after all. I am having knee surgery Wednesday so I won't write for al few days. God bless you

Bill thinks I am taking over...

Bill my dad thinks I am taking over everything. I'm not really. I am however making strong suggestions. Which Dot and Bill will not entertain. I mean I am trying to give them sound advice. Like the yellow jacket bees in my room. Yes in my bedroom. Tons of them. I try to kill as many as I can. But they keep coming. In my bedroom. So we tried some do it yourself bee killer. It didn't work. Next step, a bug pro. But no Bill won't hear of it. He says the bee season will end soon. Like when? He is always so crabby and mean. Really a jerk. If I didn't know better I would think he is not my bio dad. He never really liked me. I am a HUGE disappointment to him. Oh well I try. So wish my good luck with the bees....

Ok wheres my bra and how did I get all of these girdles in my drawer?

When a person has dementia, they sometimes lose their boundries with people. As is the case with Dot. She loves to come into my room when I am gone and look around. Once she took a print off the wall and put it in her family room. Lots of time she moves things around. Keeps me on my toes! Or she will lose something of mine and it might show up days later. As it often times with my bra. Yes my bra. Where does it go? Why does Dot take it? We will never know. And how did I end up with her girdles? Black, white and cream. Yes Dot used to wear girdles every day. My dad comes into my room often because he thinks I am taking his sleeping pills. I am not but he feels he must go through my medicine drawer. Or he thinks I have left a light on. Drives him crazy. If I get something from the thrift store, and Dot sees it and likes it, its officially hers. Oh well I guess I didn't need that after all. So there you go....later
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The day it happened.

I remember the day my mom Dot changed. One day she was fine and the next day she was going. It was that dramatic. I took her to the dr and he thinks she had a T.I. Sort of a mini stroke. She has gone down hill really fast since then. Things started happening. Getting lost, losing things. I remember in the beginning, Dot would lose something and spent the next 2 hours going through every inch of the house. Not finding it she would say my dad, Bill threw it away. She gets really angry now. Once she shook her FISTS at my sister. It was so not like her, we all laughed, even Dot. She does things that are not like her every day. Sometimes she understands its not normal and lots of times she doesn't. My dad Bill would yell at her. He has his own dementia to deal with. He really can't understand that Dot is not herself. He still yells at her. Jerk. My dad does not drive anymore. I had his license taken away several years ago. He was pissed. Now he demands that someone take him out everyday at his convenience! Sure. How do we go on?

Good bad and ugly...

My mom is and was the brains of the family. She had the energy of a high school girl. She is still hyperactive. My dad never helped her much. Dot does the bills now. That is becoming a problem. Last month she recieved the electric bill, it was 3 times the normal amount. So she went on a mission to turn off everything electric. No one can turn a light on without her telling us to turn the light out. In reality she didn't pay the electric bill for 3 months. So there you go. I wonder what other bills she is forgetting to pay? She does not want any help doing the bills. She knows what she is doing she says. Several years ago, maybe 4 years ago, I was coming to dinnner, I asked Dot if she needed me to bring anything over for dinner. No she said, dad bought fried chicken and jo-jo fries. Yum! I got there and there was one jojo fry and one chicken tender for each of us! I guess we are on a diet. Sometimes its as if she is the great depression. She will save every bit of leftover food. Two tablespoons of canned spinich. Oh dear what shall I do? I try to through things away, but she will get them out of the garbage. It won't get any better will it?

Background

Here is a little background on my mom Dot. Born in Bowling Green, Missouri to Mattie and Howard Darnell in 1926. They were farmers. Howard came to Missouri on the orphan train. He was born in New York. My mom road a horse to school. She says she was always afraid of the amimals. She has 4 younger siblings. Only Dot and Joyce are alive. She grew up and decided to go to school. Secretary school. In a big city, Kansas City. She was not scared anymore. She graduated and made her way to Minnapolis, Minnesota. She met my father Bill. They married and had me and my sister Cathy. She was a pioneer. She worked full time when I turned one year old. She always volunteered somewhere with my sister and I. She lived by example. She joined Mount Olivet Lutheran Church in Minneapolis and still goes. She did all of the housework, shopping, care of us kids, she did it all. How I don't know. After we grew up Dot and Bill loved to travel. They went to Europe several times, California several times and Bowling Green once a year. Dot is 85 and Bill is 89 years old. And they are failing. Here is where it gets interesting. I'll talk about it later..